Good-Neighborliness

 "The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion." - Paulo Coelho

On December 30^th, I had a retirement party. I’m only 44 and, yes, I had a retirement party.

A few months ago, when I mentioned that I would be selling my business and retiring, the response I got was overwhelmingly positive. People were excited and happy for me, full of “What’s next?” and “Then what?” questions. I appreciated that very much. Yes, there were a handful of people who gawked and made silly comments like “Retire!? You’re way too young to retire!?” because to them retirement meant a finish—an end point, a put-your-feet-up-and-eat-bon-bons mentality. But for me, it’s simply a transition—putting aside the shopkeeper, guest-facing, retail-heavy life that has taken so much of my time and focus for decades and putting the experience, lessons, and inspiration I’ve gained there and elsewhere to use through more mentorship, consulting, and writing. And, yeah, maybe putting my feet up just a little bit.

It's been a couple of weeks since that retirement open house, and our good neighbors truly showed up for it! The quantity and quality of people who came to congratulate Clark and Codey Noel on buying the business and me on my retirement from shopkeeper life was incredibly touching. These weren't necessarily our high-dollar or high-volume clients, but rather the majority were people from the neighborhood—those with whom we've built relationships over the past 12-plus years and who have become ardent supporters and advocates of our business. They're the ones who watched the business grow from the beginning and did all they could to visit and patronize through the various challenges I and it faced—street closures, a cancer battle, a global pandemic, etc. They're the people who care. They're our friends. They're our team. They're our family. They are the reason we've been so successful.

I have a long list of thank-you notes to write for the sweet gifts, heartfelt cards, and stories shared about things that I didn’t even realize made an impression, yet are remembered years later. In a recent video chat with my mentor and friend, Opi, he mentioned that he had recently seen a reel one of my clients had posted talking about an experience she had years ago at my business that she’ll never forget. Opi was very touched by the video and reminded me that one little thing that may not be at all a big deal to one person may mean the world to someone else. As he often also reminds me, it’s all about perspective. I’m so grateful for that.

One of my main focuses moving forward will be on mentoring and coaching through AYM High Consultants, a group some colleagues and I launched last week. I'll also continue to write my Ask Uncle Marty™ column and grow my editing business (got two new clients this past week, so that's very exciting!) I have also thoroughly been enjoying sleeping in some days (I'll get on a regular morning routine again soon to prevent myself from falling into slobbery), though today I had three meetings before 11 a.m., so sleeping in isn't often an option. As I mentioned in my "The Next Chapter" post a while ago, I may be retired from shopkeeper life, but I certainly haven't retired from the hustle. And, recognizing the platforms and influence I've somehow been given through the network I've made over my tenure in my industry and communities, I understand both the responsibility and the opportunity I have with what I share. It seems lately that the world is so full of confusion, contention, and frustration and, while I can't change that on a large scale, I can maybe share a little bit about what's allowed me to keep my peace amidst it: turning off the contentious voices and instead focusing on the positive ones. Going forward in whatever sphere of influence I've garnered, I want to be sure that my voice is a positive one. 

The mission statement I’ve created to be part of my updated bio is to "explore, encourage, empower, and envision a better world by both learning from others and sharing lessons that I've learned in my own experience." And that’s going to be my mission in spending time in semi-retirement listening, reading, visiting, experiencing, and digging into different, diverse sources to try to figure out this thing called life a little bit more. Yes, I’ll be doing plenty of hot-air sharing about things I really do know about in the MBC (mail and business center) industry and small business life, and also about keeping a business, large or small, on track with vision, professional and clear communication, concise marketing and branding, and panoptic team building, but what I really want to share are lessons I’ve learned and want to continue to learn about what I’m going to call “good-neighborliness.”

I say this as someone who doesn’t really know my neighbors at home (as opposed to at the office, where I spent the majority of the past 12-plus years and know most neighbors well). Yes, I know some of my home neighbors' names, but I’m not the type to invite them over for a drink and a game of Bunko. I’m more of a love-you-at-a-distance kind of neighbor here, and on my little part of the street we all get along great! It works. But I can guarantee you that all five or six homes that I can see out of my front window are full of very different people—different backgrounds, faiths, goals, family types, gender identities, ages, professions, politics, and perspectives on how much lawn furniture is too much. And, I’ll repeat, we get along great! We are good neighbors. We are cordial and wave to each other often, give each other space to do whatever we want in our own yards, keep our culverts and ditches clean so our junk doesn’t wash down to the next house, mow our lawns in a somewhat timely fashion to keep the street's curb appeal and property values up, and so on. We respect each other. We, in a way, love each other. We are kind to each other. We have each other's backs. We give each other space.

I think that good-neighborliness is what’s lacking so much in our societies at the moment. Some people are way too involved in other people's business, many trying to push their own morals on others. I won’t get too political here, sometimes it feels like compromise, freedom, and basic respect have been so often forgotten. Many people expect contention and are ready for a fight at any moment when someone brings up a hot-button issue, especially in an election year when people feel so much is at stake. In the midst of that, it's important for us—for me—to remember that the negative voices often shout the loudest. And they're definitely the most obnoxious. So, in heeding my own advice, perhaps to not get so upset about politics I just need to turn down the volume on those loud, boisterous, despondent voices and turn up the volume on the quiet, positive, hopeful voices that actually make progress...and peace.

I've been part of the same faith community my whole life—a non-denominational, home-based fellowship without an official charter or doctrine other than the teachings of Jesus. In principle, we just try to keep it simple and basic to the New Testament example without adding too much of the ceremony, structure, symbolism, and politics that formal religion often brings. Most of us believe it's not for us to control or set rules for each other, but rather it's up to individuals to work out their own convictions and paths through a personal relationship with God while sharing communion and encouragement together; the help I receive when we get together regularly in small groups, and occasionally in larger groups, to each share what's been on our hearts and minds is true treasure—a support group that I depend on. We have a ministry that's volunteer and itinerant, with pastors traveling generally in pairs from town to town and home to home to encourage people, help communities, make acquaintances, and hold public gatherings where they can share the gospel message of hope and love. The majority of those whom I consider my church friends are kind, gentle, happy, humble, and loving—true good neighbors. No one is perfect by any means, myself very much included, but most are trying their best to treat others right, share positivity, and learn and grow from each situation life throws at them.

While there's an awesome freedom in being part of a faith community without a formal doctrine, it can lead to some confusion because humanity wants to assume a doctrine. People want black and white, yes and no answers to some of the most basic questions we all face. What's right and what's wrong? Should we do this or should we do that? What about this topic or that? So, with us all being humans and subject to this part of our nature, we naturally seek guidance from one another. While that's good, guidance always needs to be taken with many grains of salt, especially when the guidance is from someone we’re trying our best to show respect to, because we could easily end up compromising our own standards, morals, cultural understanding, or cultural identity in an effort to try and not offend theirs. The bubble—whether due to isolation, generation, life experience, or just plain obtuseness—that the guidance giver may be operating out of must be considered, and that’s where the many grains of salt come in that the guidance receiver must not be afraid to sprinkle. To be good neighbors, we have to remember that guidance is not and should not be control, and that it's our right and our responsibility to call someone out when their perhaps-well-intended guidance crosses a line or is flat out inappropriate for the time and culture in which we exist. The moment we fear to do that, guidance can easily turn into control. And when we give someone control, that can lead to abuse. No human should ever control another human...in any circumstance. A controlling person the antithesis of a good neighbor.

My colleagues at AYM High Consultants and I form a coaching team made up of all different generations, which is intentional. Myself and one other coach are solid Gen Xers, and we have a boomer, another Gen Xer who's borderline millennial, and a Gen Zer on our team. Why? Because every generation sees the world quite differently. Business practices are different. World views are different. Access to information is different. Science and technology are different. Priorities are different. References are different. Pop culture is different. Culture, in general, is different. The environment is different in many senses. Laws are different. Politics are different. Styles are different. The way we were raised is different. Language is different, so how we talk is different. And what we talk about is different. Taboo topics are different. Manifestations of racism and sexism are different. Understandings of pronouns, gender, identity, and sexuality are different. Opportunities are different. Our education has been different. Our life experiences have been different. Our perspectives are different. And so our advice is therefore different. With all of us at AYM High working together, we embrace all of those differences and work as a team to find the best solutions for our clients. It's a wonderful combination and it works so very well in our consulting group as we help diverse business clients find their way. 

However, if we think about guidance and advice giving as it occurs in faith-based setting, it's often not with all generations in mind, but rather it's usually coming down from a much older generation who see things very differently than the younger generation who is likely receiving the advice. And sometimes it's not with societal considerations in mind, where one area's morals and standards and norms and expectations may be quite different than another's. It doesn't mean the faith-based advice or guidance is necessarily wrong, but it does mean that it must be taken in context because cultures and the mores of those cultures change with each generation and location. If the advice is about how to have a right spirit of love, joy, peace, tolerance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control, then it's awesome and timeless, but if it's about mechanical, cultural, and situational applications, then it must be sprinkled with those all-important grains of salt. This is very important to remember, especially for those of us who value scripture, and to consider when reading ancient writings that contain specific advice given to specific people in specific situations and specific societies. The concept of good-neighborliness is timeless, but neighborhoods and the principles of their inhabitants are entirely different across space and time.

In my faith community, we're currently experiencing some hard realities. In some ways, things have gotten off track and are in the process of being identified and corrected. Myself included, many people in the past have pandered to the most conservative in the group in order to not offend or make waves. Guidance has often been given, but not often stood up to when it was mechanical, cultural, or situational in nature and sometimes not appropriate due to a generational or societal disparity between the guidance giver and guidance receiver. Because of that, some hard-lined opinions got mixed into what is foundationally a spirit-led fellowship…and the customs that sprang from those opinions spread too far, hung around too long, garnered too much influence, and/or became mistaken for universal belief or dogma. And when there's a perception of a doctrine or dogma because of too-ingrained customs or ideologies, it gets easier for people to follow the form and not the spirit, to compartmentalize church life from personal life, to become sanctimonious, to judge others or look down upon those who don't look like or follow the ultra-conservative model, to let a spirit of control creep in where a spirit of good-neighborliness should be, and for wolves in sheep's clothing to enter or come out of hiding. This has happened some in my community, I'm afraid, and people have been deeply wounded, excluded, made to feel judged, and/or considerably offended.

That's very harsh-sounding, I know, but it’s reality. And I in no way want to have it come off that I feel it can't be rectified and that we can't heal, change, and move forward as better, safer, more welcoming, and less stuffy and stodgy neighbors. Because, after all, what I initially shared about my faith group is indeed how I know and believe it is...at its core, ideally, in a perfect world, and in many cases in the real world. And I'll repeat that the vast majority of those whom I consider my church friends are kind, gentle, happy, humble, and loving—true good neighbors. We're just in the midst of the hard, uncomfortable, incredibly important process of identifying, correcting, and reconciling right now. It often takes time, but love is always the answer. Love wins and love will always win. Love brings peace, and peace is the litmus test for love's presence. Love allows us to change and move forward as better, more loving, and more peaceable neighbors, filling one of our most important duties we have as neighbors: to keep our neighborhoods as safe, equitable, and peaceful as possible.

Every neighborhood, community, and group on the face of the planet that is made up of humans is therefore made up of entirely imperfect individual beings with varying degrees of egos, agendas, opinions, and struggles unique to each individual's set of circumstances. As a result, every community and group faces a number of human-related challenges, including obstinate mindsets, group-think, the frailty of humanity, and the paradox of influence, where people who have influence find themselves in a position of having their opinions given weight—entirely too much weight at times, to the point where it can create power, and before you know it some empowered to have a positive influence might find themselves abusing that influence for selfish gains, nefarious intentions, or to peddle their own viewpoints formed from their life experience without considering their neighbor and the completely different life experience that they may have. It can so easily get out of control, which can so easily lead to control, which, as I posited earlier, can so easily lead to all types of abuse. It's something anyone in any position of influence must be aware of, because, like it or not, human nature is going to come knocking and these challenges will have to be faced. And it's a huge wake-up call to me, realizing that I do have some influence in my communities and the responsibility I therefore have of making sure that influence remains a positive one—to be a good neighbor.

I was recently in one of the public meetings two of the ministers currently in my area hosted at a fire hall. One of our pastors shared a message about being careful not to judge. She mentioned how often Jesus insisted that his followers not judge others, but rather emphasized that love is what should drive them: love for God and love for their neighbors. We can never fully know someone's intentions and what's deeply hidden in their heart, so how can we judge? Instead, we're asked to have mercy. That same pastor shared in part that forgiveness isn't about the past or about saying something is or was okay, but it's about the future in order to move forward...and do so differently. She reminded us that we can't fix the world, but we can indeed fix ourselves. And friends, that's where we have to start. If we start to get overwhelmed, down, upset, and confused with all of the turmoil around us, just remember that the story isn't over yet. As Dev Patel's character, Sonny Kapoor, often said in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, "Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." 

A few weeks ago, I had a dear friend staying with me for a couple of nights. He too is a minister, and one for whom I have the utmost respect—truly exhibiting a spirit of good-neighborliness, love, and realism. Having a wonderful time together with very encouraging conversations, he and I got into two related hot-button topics on which we disagreed. I believe each of us could easily go on for hours, ardently arguing our points, getting heated, and getting flustered and angry because the other didn't see it the way we see it. But, that's not what happened. Instead, with great respect for each other and a feeling of safety to speak freely with each other, we each stated how we felt about these topics, gave some reasoning, and then listened to the other explain their points of view. It's how discussions like this should go, with neither trying to convert the other, but rather each learning from the other. While his views were more conservative and my views were more progressive, in the end we agreed that those little could-go-either-way details are nothing that should ever overshadow the big picture and get in the way of fellowship and communion; they shouldn't become something that disrupts the neighborhood or excludes anyone from being a part of it.

There are things that aren't meant to be completely figured out, because everyone's situation, needs, and trajectory is intended to be unique. If we all thought alike and had the same life experiences, where would grace fit in? Where would the unknown be? Why would we need faith? Why would loving our neighbor be so important if it weren't, at times, a challenge? In the end, my minister friend and I simply agreed to disagree on the details we are both trying to understand better, classifying them as grey areas, and agreed to agree that we need to encourage each other to accept grey areas, not legislate them as black and white or right and wrong, get over our own egos and self-righteous I’m-right-you’re-wrong attitudes, and move forward with love and respect while we each live by convictions we feel in our hearts and that make sense for our distinct situations. It seems the devil is, indeed, in the details, loving confusion and enmity. Good-neighborliness is neither about conformation nor correction, but rather it's about treating others with basic respect.

Instead of trying to fix or correct everyone else, maybe we can simply set an intention to support, befriend, empower, and uplift those who live by and share spirits of compromise, freedom, inclusion, and respect, and not those who foster spirits of bullheadedness, judgement, exclusion, and disrespect. Wouldn't that do it? Listen to, be influenced by, and share the considerate and positive voices, not giving power or control over our decisions to the ignorant and negative voices? And do this simple practice in our faith groups, politics, communities, schools, and families? Could the answer to progress and peace really be that simple? Empower respect and disempower disrespect? Yes. Yes, it can be. At least, it's the answer for progress and peace in our own hearts. I'm glad for those who are doing this. We need more of it; we need more open hands of friendship and not tight, stubborn fists of contention.

Obstinate mindsets prohibit progress, forward thinking, forward looking, and forward moving; obstinate mindsets make people feel less-than, marginalized, not worthy, not heard, not seen, and not valued. It's unacceptable. The world is a far better, richer, happier place if we instead give everyone room to be themselves and live their best lives, if we listen to and experience new-to-us perspectives, views, and beliefs, and if we open our eyes and minds to the rich beauty and diversity this world has to share with us. If we start to feel that we should stifle or correct someone because they're sharing viewpoints or making choices differently than we might, maybe the best tack would be to examine ourselves instead and try to live an example of how we know best to live, but not try to meddle in someone else's life when they're simply trying to do the same with what they know. As Ice Cube so wisely said, "Check yo' self before you wreck yo' self." We're not called to judge anyone but ourselves, but rather we're in fact called to be good neighbors. It's really quite simple.

All this being said, if we are people of faith we must not be afraid call out harmful ideologies when they circulate. Harmful ideologies are different than simple viewpoints; harmful ideologies lead to hurt being caused to a person or a group of people. It's harmful ideologies that lead to faith, a wonderful thing, sometimes being associated with terrible things like racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and xenophobia. It's why the word Christian is vilified sometimes in sensationalist media and politics, which is so incredibly sad because Jesus represented, lived, and taught the complete opposite; he was and still is and will always be truly, plainly, and simply about love. I read a great quote from Richard Rohr the other day that summed it up: "Jesus tried to change people by loving and healing them. His harshest words of judgement were reserved for those who perpetuated systems of inequality and oppression and who, through religion itself, thought they were sinless and untouchable." Indeed, loud-mouthed religious extremists and pundits using the good name of Jesus to manipulate people and push political agendas are certainly to blame for this, but don't some of us regular old sheep caught in the crossfire also share in some of the blame? I certainly haven't always done my duty to call out those harsh, harmful ideologies when someone has had the gall to speak for my personal, individual faith without my consent. Maybe I was just trying to be kind and respectful, which is important and really what this whole becoming-very-long essay is about, but when that attempt at respect crosses the line to not calling out hate and discrimination, it then is giving harmful ideologies and the ignorant people who tout them validation and control that they should not have. And that's being a very bad neighbor, because we’re not performing that most basic neighborly responsibility of protecting the neighborhood from wolves.

I've spent some time in Al-Anon, another support group I depend on to keep my spirit in check. Al-Anon is for family, friends, and loved ones of those who are struggling with addiction, alcoholism, and/or substance abuse. Nearly everyone I know has a loved one with these struggles, and I am no different. My Al-Anon family is a group of completely different, diverse, sincere people from all walks of life that come together to hold hands, uplift, and support one another, letting each know that they're not alone. We close every meeting with the serenity prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change those that I can, and wisdom to know the difference." It's a constant reminder that I need and I'm grateful for my good neighbors who keep me grounded in its reality. When we're together and sharing our stories and our struggles to keep ourselves afloat while not spiraling down with the sinking ships that our loved ones seem to be captaining, we realize that humanity is so very fragile and our example can be so very powerful—not our opinions, not our hounding, and not our constant battling, but simply our example of putting on our own oxygen mask first, because only then can we attempt to help someone else with theirs.

We have no way of knowing fully what our neighbors are dealing with. We don't know their innermost hearts. We don't know their deepest intentions. And we don't know most of the unseen obstacles they may be facing, prejudices they endure daily and possibly have been enduring their entire lives, opportunities they've had or not had, obstinate people in their lives they've had to navigate, abuse they've faced, mental health challenges they cope with, trauma they're healing from, times their voices have been silenced, times they've been marginalized or made to feel less-than, debts they owe, or hopes and dreams they have. We have no right to speak for them, correct them, control them, or judge them. But we do have the responsibility to love them, to show them respect, and to allow them to be seen and heard in the spaces we have the power do to so. 

I recently finished seasons one and two of The Gilded Age, back-to-back. For those who haven't watched it yet, it's truly worthwhile. Of course, this is coming from me, someone whose roots are strong in New York City where the show is set, as well as someone who was obsessed with the other not-to-miss series by the same creators, Downton Abbey. Anyway, in the second episode of The Gilded Age season one, Agnes van Rhijn, played by the uber-talented Christine Baranski, said something to the effect of (and I'm paraphrasing), "Prejudice, in a nutshell, is not being interested in the facts that interfere with our own beliefs." That hit home. Isn't that the opposite of being a good neighbor? Being prejudiced? Not listening to someone because we don't want to have our own beliefs challenged? Not respecting someone else's opinion? Not accepting the fact that we, ourselves, very well could be wrong? Letting our own trash drift over into someone else's yard when really we should just be letting them live their life freely?

My best friend Erin and I have been texting today because our high school classmate Eric just won an Emmy for his amazing directing of Weird: The Al Yankovic Story. It’s really exciting and we’re very proud to have known him. Erin just mentioned that she guesses she’ll have to actually finish that movie now...and we had a good laugh. Erin and I agree on almost everything and see pretty close to eye-to-eye, but yet we are very different humans. While I was a big Weird Al fan back in the day and absolutely loved the satirical biopic style that the movie was made in, she had a hard time getting through it. And that’s awesome. Because we’re friends and we're good neighbors. We love each other. We have fellowship together. We want what’s best for each other. But we have different tastes. And it’s beautiful. When she said that the movie didn’t make sense to her and I told her it made total sense to me, she said, “I suppose that’s just something I have to come to terms with.” I said, “Ain’t that just life.” And she said, “Ain’t it.”

Can we make a deal as friends, citizens, and people who are trying to be decent humans to be good neighbors again? Let’s embrace the grey areas. Let's be kind. Let's have each other's backs, even when we don't agree with each other. Let's accept what we can't change, but have the courage to change what we can. Let's allow each other to do the best with what we know and not try to impose our own standards on each other. Let me do me and I’ll let you do you, keeping our own messes out of each other's lawns, and we’ll get together now and then at a block party and have a blast, loving our differences just as much as we love our similarities. It’s how this world is meant to work. Humans shouldn’t and won’t always agree, but we can indeed all get along if we allow ourselves to do so. We can compromise. We can allow each other to have freedom. We can show basic respect. We can listen to and learn from each other's viewpoints, but not be afraid to call out harmful ideologies and fulfil our basic duty of keeping our neighborhoods safe for everyone. And we can look forward—and then move forward—together.

...

This essay was originally published on askunclemarty.com as "Looking Forward" on January 7, 2024, then edited, then changed to "Good-Neighborliness" and edited again, then taken down, zhuzhed some more, republished on January 18, with final zhuzhings at the end of January and early February. I even did one final, final zhuzhing on February 19, a week after I shared a link to this article in my monthly newsletter (subscribe here), as after I shared it I went back to it and realized that I was being ambiguous about something I should have been firm on, as well as quite negative about something I should have been kinder and more forgiving on.

Why the over-zhuzhing? I'm touching on some topics in here that currently weigh heavily on my heart and life. The friend in me wants to be authentic, the optimist in me wants to not worry, the introvert in me wants to keep everything in, the conflict-avoider in my wants to not make waves, the advocate in me wants to scream from the rooftops, the performer in me wants to make everything sparkly and smoke-screened, and the editor in me wants to make every detail perfect. But, as my dear friend and mentor Fahim often reminds me, perfection is the enemy of progress and the best friend of procrastination. So, for what it's worth, in whatever combination of authentic or smoke-screened, under-shared or over-shared it is, here you have it. Take it or leave it. As with all of my column's opinion sharing and advice giving, it's meant to be guidance, not control. Please take it with as many grains of salt as you need.

January 2024 Letter From the Editor

The following is my letter from the editor that will publish in the upcoming January / February edition of MBC Today (volume 26 issue 1): 

Dear Readers,

When this issue drops, I will be officially retired. My business, Uncle Marty's Shipping Office, has been sold as of January 1, 2024. It's surreal, ridiculously exciting, and I am so profoundly grateful for everyone who has gotten me to this point: my team, my family, my friends, and my AMBC industry peers and mentors. How does someone buck the system, go against societal expectations, and retire from small business life at just 44 years old? Easy. They want to. They set an intention. And they bust it to get there.

I wrote an announcement in November, shortly after the last MBC Today issue dropped (I had so wanted to have it ready to share in that issue, but the timing just wasn't right yet) about my business sale and plans for my post-retirement career. A number of people have asked me to share that article more broadly, so I'm publishing The Next Chapter in this edition on page 13 in case it's of any inspiration and/or interest to you. It's a story about how the family business I and my incredibly team have created for the past 12-plus years is continuing on to the next generation with one of my dear "work kids," current manager, and five-year team member Clark and his fiancé Codey Noel taking over with plans to continue to grow the business, open new locations, and likely share some of our proprietary systems, apps, and practices and/or franchise the popular brand we've built. It's so incredibly exciting, still seems unreal, and for it all I am so, so grateful.

In addition to what is shared here, please check out our socials for photos and stories from our December 30th open house to celebrate Clark and Codey Noel as new owners and the start of the Uncle Marty's Shipping Office second dynasty / close of my own first dynasty and retirement. And in future issues of MBC Today I do hope to share more about the process, including some writing about steps to take with an exit strategy / endgame in mind while building a business...and more.

I'll also be sharing a lot in my post-retirement consulting, writing, editing, and podcasting career. I'm sure it's no surprise that many of those upcoming projects will be collaborations with Fahim, Seema, Yusuf, and other close colleagues. As we transition to new roles, we want to share our experiences with those who have allowed us to get here; we believe that the exciting new ventures we're launching in 2024 will be of great benefit, help, and positive encouragement to you, our dear industry peers, mentors, team, family, and friends.

And, like it or not, you'll continue to hear from me here in this industry-leading publication, MBC Today, as long as AMBC continues to ask me to edit this magazine. Doing so is both an honor and a privilege.

This issue is again full of good stuff that I hope you take the time to digest. The AMBC March of 2024 event is coming up fast in just a few months in fabulous Las Vegas. Have you booked your tickets and registered for it yet? If not, hurry! Space is again limited and it's another AMBC can't-miss event that's sure to pay dividends for years to come because of connections you make, nuggets of inspiration and knowledge you'll acquire, and experiences that will impress the importance of doing business with intention and mission, rather than just hunting for the next transaction. Perhaps I'll see you there...

With care,
Marty

The Next Chapter

The time has come to publicly and officially share some exciting news that I’ve been antsy to shout from the rooftops for a while: I’m selling my business!

Here’s a letter my coworkers and I will be sending soon to our clients, guests, and community, which should give some more details:

In addition to this letter, we’ll do a press release and other outreach to let everyone know that this sale is a very good thing. Clark and Codey Noel will take the Uncle Marty’s brand to the next level with some forward-thinking plans in the works, including a second location in downtown Ithaca, licensing and franchising opportunities for shipping stores in other areas that want to come on board with the brand, model, and systems, and an app currently in development that has some great potential to change the game for—and exponentially expand—one of our top profit centers. It’s exciting!

We’ll be having an open house on December 30^th at Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office to celebrate, thank our outstanding community for their support, and toast to the bright future of the business. If you’re local and free to stop in for a few minutes that day, we’d love to see you!

In addition to selling Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office, I’ll be stepping down from my formal director roles with the Collegetown Small Business Alliance (CSBA) and the Association of Mail and Business Centers (AMBC). I will, however, retain my editing contract with AMBC to continue to produce its magazine, MBC Today, and will advise and/or assist each organization upon request, as needed.

What’s next for me? I’ve committed to be around the first half of 2024 for an ownership transition period and to assist Clark and Codey Noel in May for the busy student move-out season, and to possibly manage while they go on their honeymoon at the end of June. After that, I hope to have my home in Ithaca sold and find a little place in lower, slower Delaware. Why Delaware? My parents and brother moved there years ago and it feels right for me to now head there too so I can be closer to them and to some of my wonderful cousins who live nearby. It may not be a permanent move, but for now it’s where my heart is telling me I should be.

Going forward, I hope to do more editing, consulting, and writing, continuing to grow my Ask Uncle Marty™ column. A close colleague and I also have a collaborative motivational podcast and coaching enterprise that we’ll be doing some test runs on soon. So, while I’ll officially be retiring from shopkeeper life, I certainly won’t be retiring from the hustle. I’ll just be much more flexible to work remotely from wherever my travels take me, be available to spend more time with family, and keep my options open for whatever lies ahead. As Clark often reminds me, I’m incapable of just sitting around, so even though the thought of taking it easy for a while is very tempting, I’m sure I won’t hibernate for long.

I’ll sure miss the Ithaca community that has been so good to me and faithfully supported my business as it has grown for the past 12-plus years from the quirky little shop around the corner that I ran mostly by myself—where every other guest would come in and say to me, “You’re not old enough to be an uncle!”—to the fully-staffed neighborhood anchor destination that has become Ithaca’s go-to trusted packing and shipping hub. If you’ll indulge my parental pride for a moment, I’ll mention that Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office was one of the first AMBC Certified Gold Stores in the country, has been featured in the FedEx ShipSource® publication four times (pretty sure that’s a record), and, what I’m most proud of, maintains a consistent and authentic five-star review rating on all platforms. As I mentioned in the letter we’ll share with clients and neighbors, our growth and recognition as a model business in our industry and community is a direct result of the truly caring professionals that I am proud to call my coworkers, all of whom plan to support Clark and Codey Noel the same as they have supported me. Just as I’ll miss our community, I’ll miss working alongside this crew every day even more; they mean the world to me and truly have become family.

As is the story of many entrepreneurs who invest everything they have into a project, hoping and trusting they can make something of it in lieu of a pension or other securities of a more traditional career path, I spent a number of years putting nearly every dime I netted (and then some) back into the business, commuting an hour each way six days a week for my first seven years, eating a whole lot of ramen with paychecks often non-existent, and investing time and heart waiting on each guest who came through the doors in order to build formidable relationships in the community and understand local needs in order to adapt services offered accordingly. I depended on my outstanding family to fill in the gaps by volunteering countless hours to help when I needed them. It was years before I started to grow a team and take any time off to speak of, and there certainly were some unforeseen challenges along the way.

The year after I opened, I faced my first major challenge when I was diagnosed with a super weird and very rare form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma. One of the first questions I asked my oncologist wasn’t a traditional question you’d think a 33-year-old with a large tumor in his tonsil and an uncertain prognosis would ask, but rather I just said, “What about my business!? I can’t leave it to go through treatment.” That’s where my headspace was: obsessed with being at the office, making sure guests were taken care of, and non-negotiably finding a plan to stay open even when I’d have to be hospitalized on and off for months to get some of the strongest and most aggressive chemo that is given to cancer patients, as my cancer was one of the fastest growing ones there is (the fastest, according to the rare lymphoma specialist who took my case at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute). Thankfully, mercifully, and through abundant grace shown to me, I not only survived, but thrived. And while I was down and out, at my behest my then-retired mom and dad devotedly dug in and kept the business going…and growing.

A few years after my cancer battle, I faced another major challenge when construction crews, without warning, shut down our street and blocked access to my business for all pickup and delivery vehicles (which is obviously not ideal for a shipping store). They did this in May, smack dab during our busiest time of the year when students are moving out, and then kept the street shut down for the better part of two years while developers leveled much of the block across the street and built shiny new buildings. It was quite the hurdle, but somehow we found a way to navigate amidst the dust. Daily, my drivers had to drag carts full of packages (often through the gravel and dirt) to their trucks that had to park on other streets. I would often pick up shipments at clients’ homes after hours because they didn’t have a way to bring them to us because of the roadblock, and I advocated at City Hall for loading zones to eventually be cut into the construction site. I even befriended some construction workers who, out of kindness, would sometimes use their forklifts to get pallets of boxes to our door. Eventually, the shiny new buildings were built and the street was opened back up and, though some of my neighbors didn’t, Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office survived…and continued to thrive.

And who could forget the major challenge faced by every business and individual just a few years ago during the pandemic. When it hit and the world started shutting down, we found ourselves classified as an essential business. The local health department had protocols we had to follow, which we gladly did to keep everyone safe, and so we worked every day in-store while most of the world contrastingly sheltered at home. The local universities shut down overnight and our busy student move-out season, which is traditionally a six-week period in May and June that peaks over Memorial Day weekend, got condensed into a few days in March of 2020 with no warning or ability to stock up on supplies. Students had to catch next flights home and leave their stuff behind, so with no other option I and my coworkers pivoted right away to add the service of going to students’ apartments, video chatting with them while we packed their belongings into boxes, and then put those boxes in storage, shipped them, or donated them. It was months of late nights and doing things we had never done before, while doing the things we had always done in different ways, but we survived. And, once again, thrived. In fact, during the pandemic our business boomed!

Facing, navigating, and overcoming challenges is the core story of business ownership. Like life, business is beautifully unpredictable, with chapters full of plot twists, ups and downs, tragedies and triumphs, and speed bumps large and small. There are no guarantees, but if someone keeps turning the pages, keeps the goal in view, focuses on the abundance of positives amidst a few negatives, and tries really hard to keep the momentum going, they just may end up understanding more and more of the story as time goes on and, eventually, get to a very happy ending.

Reflecting on the past 12-plus years, I believe that different challenges the business faced have not only defined it, but they fortified it; they allowed it to understand the need to be flexible and adaptive, and to blossom where it was planted because of a cacophony of Ithacans who also believed in that little shop around the corner, its mission, and, for some crazy reason, that too-young-to-be-an-uncle fellow who was running it. And, when I finally started building a team, those same Ithacans embraced my beloved “work kids” too. On days I’m at the office now and come out of my back-office lair to visit with guests, instead of commenting that I look too young to be an uncle (those days are long gone), they see my name tag and say, “Wow! There’s really an Uncle Marty!?” and that makes me smile. I’ve hit my intention: created a business that I now run instead of it running me and built a brand and has transformed the always-up-front shopkeeper into the somewhere-in-his-office-unless-he-slept-in-again caricature founder. I know the time is right for the business to be passed on to its next caretakers. Systems are in place, a phenomenal team is in control, and the future is ripe with opportunities.

I can’t begin to express how surreal it all feels to have gotten to this point, how grateful I am, how excited I am, and how optimistic I am. There’s so much I want to share, do, see, experience, and explore, and there are so many things Clark and Codey Noel will do with Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office that I neither have the oomph to do, nor the young, creative mind to fully tackle. But they have oomph, youth, and creativity in abundance. It’s working out and our guts tell us it’s the right next chapter for each of us; we feel a lot of peace with this decision.

So, friends, that’s my big news, which I fully admit could be shared in just a short paragraph instead of this longer-than-your-great-aunt’s-Christmas-letter narrative. But I wanted to share some history, context, and hopefully some encouragement to others pouring their time and effort into a project they believe wholeheartedly in. Because this little shipping store I started in 2011 with the hopes of somehow eking out a living has become something that now will allow me to semi-retire at just 44 years old, which is unbelievable, and lend my time and energy to things that I feel drawn to dig deeper into. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m dang excited for it…and profoundly grateful for each beautifully unpredictable page and character that has led to this point.

If you have any interest, please subscribe to my newsletter at askunclemarty.com to receive periodic updates on new projects, articles, hopefully a podcast launch before too long, and more. And you can always follow me on socials @askunclemarty (Instagram and TikTok). Also, please show Clark and Codey Noel all the love you can by continuing to support them and the Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office brand expansion by visiting unclemartysoffice.com and following the socials they’ll soon take over @unclemartysoffice (Instagram) and @unclemartys (Facebook and TikTok).

Here's to the next chapter.

...

This article was also also published in MBC Today Volume 26 Issue 1 on January 2, 2024.

The November/December 2023 Issue of MBC Today

The latest issue of MBC Today has just dropped. This is the magazine that I started writing for maybe 15 or so years ago when it was called MPC Today, and then after the industry shifted and many of the businesses in it changed from "mail and parcel centers" to "mail and business centers" to be more inclusive of what they actually do with printing, etc., the industry association changed its name and the magazine consequently did too, replacing the P for "parcel" with a B for "business."

Anyway, after writing for it for years, I started assisting the production person with proofreading. Soon, I took on the title of Editor and, after another year or so, when she retired, I started producing the magazine too. I created many regular columns, including my own Ask Uncle Marty™ advice column, MBC Funnies, Oops!, Lessons From the Archives, A Little Something Extra, Did You Know, and more, which are rotated through depending on available space in each issue I put together. I also added Shrimps, which are little nuggets of wisdom, recommendations, and inspiration peppered throughout the publication (and called "Shrimps" because that's what a long-ago association head, Charmaine, would call little bits of awesome that she'd interject or hand out at industry events, so that name is in honor and remembrance of all of the positive things she did for our industry).

Years later, I now do all of the production and editing, with some proofreading assistance from my team and advertising coordination assistance from colleagues. I set the magazine's production schedule, solicit submissions, work with featured businesses to share their stories, and do all of the layout, graphics, and formatting. I've learned a lot through the process and absolutely love this type of work. And the thought that for some reason this industry and its thousands of stores and shopkeepers have any interest in anything I have to say still kind of blows my mind. But, for some reason they do, and so I keep cranking it out.

I wanted to share the latest full issue of MBC Today (Volume 25 Issue 6) with you all here so you can see what keeps me out of trouble at night. I also want to remind the world that I'm always open to discuss the occasional editing and/or producing contracts, whether it's full publications like this or just the occasional eblast, bio, resume, article, blog post, website, or newsletter. I'm not cheap, but I'm efficient and meticulous...and, as you can see below, not too shabby at it. ;)

Click this link and see the full issue. Enjoy!

Days With Knight

Bobby Knight, legendary basketball coach, passed away on Wednesday, November 1^st, 2023—just two days ago. He had a reputation and was an oft-seen figure in the news, and I’ll admit I didn’t know him well, but he did have an impact on me that I’d like to share.

I’ve never been very athletic, nor have I ever had a penchant for sports. So, working in athletics wasn’t a place I imagined myself to ever be. But, after moving to Lubbock, Texas in 1999 to study business at Texas Tech University, a job opened up as a student assistant in the athletic department...and I jumped at it.

I had already studied a couple of years at Binghamton University, but instead of studying business my focus was initially on biology with pre-med intentions, then I switched to psychology for three semesters. While in Binghamton, my hometown, I continued to manage my parents’ three Pack & Mail stores, an industry I had been in since they opened their first in 1991. So, when I moved to Texas, my job at the athletic department was actually my first-ever job outside of the mail and business center industry (an industry I’ve found myself back in over and over again for well over 30 years now), and my first time considering a career in business instead of in the sciences.

One big reason for my move to West Texas was to be near my grandmother, whom my siblings, cousins, and I called “Mam-ma” (pronounced “ma’am-maw”) who lived in Lubbock. I had some other family there too, as well as some friends I had made from visiting there over the years. I was excited for the move and transfer, as I’ve always been a lover of adventure and change. I bought a pair of boots, made dear friends, found my tribe, and was able to take Mam-ma out on a shopping and dinner date every Tuesday—days I still treasure and remember fondly, gossiping over chicken fried steak at the local dive restaurant while she puffed on her Virginia Slims (back then, you could still smoke in restaurants in Texas), going to JC Penny to find the special brand of taupe pantyhose she preferred, playing Skip-Bo back at her apartment while we drank Coke from glass bottles that she opened with her old beer bottle opener, and snacking on her famous Frito pie made with the flattest Vidalia onions we could find while watching the Cowboys play, trying to spot my distant cousin Angie, one of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, in the lineup—Mam-ma using the wall calendar Angie had sent, signed by all the cheerleaders to “Dear Aunt Hullie” (as she was nicknamed by her niblings), as a visual reference to try to pick out which blonde dancer among them might be Angie.

While I technically did work for the Texas Tech Athletic Department, my primary responsibility was working in the Double T Shoppes, which, even though plural, when I arrived was just one store in a small building next to the football stadium. This was the football stadium of 1999, not the behemoth they’ve built since in its place, though still it was considerably more colossal than any stadium I had experienced in Binghamton. That’s for dang sure. Football is certainly a giant part of the culture in West Texas.

One thing that we did at the Double T Shoppes was merchandise concessions at all of the major sporting events. I also did merch concessions at non-sporting events, which is how I had my own private Elton John concert, a true story I shared on askunclemarty.com in April of 2017 (in case you want to go searching in the archives to read it). For sports concessions, we had satellite booths in the football stadium, baseball stadium, and old basketball arena. When I came there, Texas Tech was in the process of building a gigantic, shiny new basketball arena—the United Spirit Arena—and, when it opened, the old arena was eventually converted into the home of the Lubbock Cotton Kings, the first ice hockey team to come to West Texas, which was…let’s just say…entirely amusing to experience.

Inside the new United Spirit Arena, the Double T Shoppes opened its second full-on location and I got to be part of that store’s design and layout and on the team that got to open its doors for the first time to the public. It was exciting! It was right inside the main entrance to the arena, at the foot of the grand staircases, surrounded by glass, and absolutely beautiful.

Around the corner from our store in the arena were the offices for the Lady Raiders and Red Raiders management and coaching teams. Marsha Sharp, legendary Head Coach of the Lady Raiders, less than a decade past winning the national championship and still going strong, would be in and out often and usually wave while she walked by the store coming to and from her office. I liked her a whole lot.

Not long after we opened that location, news broke that Texas Tech was hiring a controversial new Head Coach for the men’s basketball team, the Red Raiders, which to this day I believe was in part to help them get attendance up at the new arena so men’s games could come up to somewhat par with the oft-sold-out popularity of the Lady Raiders games. Bobby Knight was going to come down from Indiana where he was making national headlines and move to Lubbock to be our new coach. It was a local (and national) media event that was very exciting to be in the middle of!

I didn't know Coach Knight well, though he was always friendly and cordial to me and my team, as was his family, some of whom worked with him at the offices. Though in Lubbock's eyes he could never reach the same level of public adoration or respect as Coach Sharp, he did add some excitement and media frenzy to the area while he was there. And I personally credit both he and Coach Sharp for playing a part in getting this notoriously unathletic guy who didn’t have much interest in watching a game if there wasn’t a theatrical halftime show or a find-your-cousin challenge into one who enjoyed and somewhat followed college sports, even for just a little while. I left my comfort zone, learned a lot, became much more understanding and appreciative of a world that I didn’t often experience before, and made friends that I certainly may not have encountered otherwise.

In 2001, as a going away present when I left the Texas Tech University Athletic Department, Coaches Sharp and Knight both signed a basketball for me. It was something I treasured!

Rest in peace, Coach.

AMBC4ME

For many years now, it has been my sincere privilege to serve as a director with the Association of Mail & Business Centers (AMBC). 

I had actually worked on staff when it was called AMPC (Association of Mail & Parcel Centers) as Director of Member Store Marketing and Director of its flagship store, Mailboxes & Parcel Depot, in 2010-11 when I lived in Rockford, Illinois. I had gone to Rockford as a consultant hired by AMPC to help get their flagship store in shape. I lived in a hotel for three months while I worked on the store, switched their software, deep cleaned, painted, fired the manager with a poor attitude who was hurting business, hired a new manager with an upbeat and positive attitude, put new systems in place, got new products and services aligned, and within three months turned a profit that hadn't been seen in quite a while. They liked what I did so much that they hired me on...and so I stayed in Rockford for a while.

Then, in preparation to open my own business in 2011 in Ithaca, New York, I left AMPC, it soon transitioned into a non-profit and changed its name, and then I was asked to join the initial non-profit board of directors at AMBC as a store owner and member. I started on that board as Secretary and Director of Marketing and eventually became Board Chair and Director of Communication. After fulfilling two terms on the board, no longer able to serve as a voting member due to term limits, I volunteered to continue on as an ex officio non-voting director and also serve as official Advisor to the Board. 

And now, after many years of service, it's time for me to officially step down and just be available as an unofficial advisor, as needed, and help when requested at in-person and online and seminars as a speaker or instructor. I will still continue as Editor and Producer of AMBC's magazine, MBC Today, as that has been my pet project and a position I hold as a contract outside of my volunteer service to the board. All of this is in preparation for some very exciting career news that I hope to share with you all next week. 

Until then, here are some excerpts from the issue of MBC Today (Volume 25 Issue 6) that I just finished today that talk a little bit about that transition. This issue will officially drop in a day or two, but my readers here at askunclemarty.com are getting a sneak peek of my editorial letter, as well as the current Board Chair Norman Froscher's message that contains kind words that have meant the world to me. 

Enjoy!

Letter From the Editor

Dear Readers,
 
On behalf of my fellow former AMBC Board Chair Fahim and myself, I want to express our profound gratitude for the opportunity to serve this important, forward-moving organization. As Norman mentions in his letter, we both will be stepping down from our official director and board advisor roles on January 1st, but will of course continue to participate in the organization, help as needed at events, share stories and advice in our own coaching and in MBC Today, and I'm going to keep editing and producing this magazine, a task I thoroughly enjoy and can't wait to keep growing, so you really won't be getting any breaks from either of us talking at you anytime soon.
 
Truly, it has been our honor and privilege to serve in leadership positions with AMBC for many years now and, as Fahim often reminds me, seeing the current board of directors thriving and growing our organization warms our hearts, almost with a parental type of pride. It's awesome. We are so proud of each who volunteers and gives so much time, energy, and heart to guide this group, with special accolades to Norman for his years of tremendous service as current Board Chair, Crysta as Vice Chair, Steve as Treasurer, Mary as Secretary, and Tom, David, Ayden, and Tommy as board members each serving an important role.
 
As Norman mentions in his letter, 2023 was a very good year for AMBC with three very successful events. For myself, it was also a very good year with my business continuing to grow and some exciting projects and opportunities that are looking hopeful to come to fruition in 2024, more about which I hope to be able to announce in a couple of weeks. I've got a big ol' trick up my sleeve, so stay tuned!
 
This year-end issue of MBC Today is, once again, packed full. Please read it in its entirety and share it with your coworkers so all can benefit from its inspiring content. As this is the November / December edition, per tradition we'll be mailing it not only to all of our current AMBC Members, but also as a special gift to all of AMBC's contacts, including former members, prospective members, and friends of our non-profit organization. If you're getting this magazine only once per year, please visit ambc4me.org and check out the benefits of membership, then log in to see your current membership status. We sometimes find that folks who get our eblasts and follow our social posts may not realize that they're not actually current AMBC Members and are missing out on so many of the other benefits of membership, including the other five issues of MBC Today that we send out each year. If you have trouble, email hello@ambc4me.org and Kim or Brad will get you set up.
 
I hope you're utilizing one very important benefit of AMBC membership: access to decades worth of MBC Today archives in the members-only section of ambc4me.org. I like to look back at them every November to check out each year-end issue's holiday preparation content, which helps get my store ready for the December rush and reminds me of little things that I might have otherwise forgotten to do to gear up for it.

Please plan to join AMBC in Vegas in March. It's gonna be spectacular with class upon class of great content (as you've come to expect from AMBC events), workshops, fun activities, some of the best networking at any industry event you'll ever attend, a trade show, and, as always, meals that you won't want to miss.
With care,
Marty

A Message From the AMBC Board Chair

Dear Fellow AMBC Members,

As we draw to a close in 2023 and prepare for what’s hopefully an exciting and profitable holiday shipping season, I wanted to look back briefly on this year before focusing on 2024 and the future of AMBC.

We changed our approach to our conventions and instead of trying to do one all-encompassing event, focused on smaller, more intimate regional events. We limited the attendance and narrowed the agenda to be more specific. Our 2023 regionals started off with Mailboxes and Mochas hosted at my store, Espresso Mail, in West Palm Beach, Florida, in February. In June, we had an amazing Paper and Pallets event in Springfield, Ohio, hosted at Steve Dick's store, Box King. And we finished the year strong with Retail and Relationships in September, hosted at Seema and Fahim Mojawalla's store, Island Ship Center, in Niagara Falls, New York. The response and feedback from the attendees at these events was very positive. With a variety of instructors, classes, and settings, the regionals as singular events were outstanding in themselves; together, under the AMBC tent, they showed the strength of our organization.

Preparations are well in hand for our next event in March 2024 in Las Vegas. Not only has it been several years since we’ve had an event on the West Coast, but we’re also adding something new to our event mix: piggybacking with ASD Market Week (asdonline.com), touted as "the most comprehensive trade show for retail merchandise in the United States," which will be happening next door to our hotel that same weekend. The combination of an outstanding agenda and the opportunity to attend that event too promises to be a week that will bear fruit for your stores for years to come. Don’t gamble on missing this event. (See what I did there?)

As 2023 ends, our former Board Chairs Fahim Mojawalla and Marty Johnson will be transitioning out of their official advisor and director roles with AMBC. On behalf of the industry, AMBC, the current board of directors, and as a mentee of both of these outstanding people, I want to offer my sincere thanks and appreciation for everything they’ve done for our industry. They truly embody the #membershelpingmembers spirit. Their sacrifice and volunteering have set an example the rest of us on the board can only hope to emulate going forward.

In addition to the Las Vegas event, we’ve got some very exciting things in the works for our membership. We’ll continue to improve our industry-leading training, both in-person and online. And since you’re reading this, you’re already enjoying our industry’s leading magazine.

Here’s hoping your holiday shipping season is the best. Looking forward to seeing you in Las Vegas in March.

Thanks as always for your trust,
Norman

Go Forth and Cookiefy

I want to share another editorial letter from my archives with you, as I'm sure I'll be doing plenty over the next few months in my attempt to dig through countless articles and letters I have that were never shared on this site. This letter was published in the March / April edition of MBC Today (volume 25 issue 2) on March 2, 2023. It's about cookies. And relationships. And lots of warm fuzzies. Enjoy!

Letter From the Editor

Dear Readers,

I buy a lot of cookies. But, because I'm sugar-free, I don't eat them. Instead, I've been giving them away at my shop.

We started this long ago, celebrating birthdays and workiversaries of team members with cookies, cupcakes, or some other sweet treat, and instead of just getting a few for ourselves, we got a bunch and gave them out to guests who visited on those days. In December, we often load up on Christmas cookies to give away on a pretty platter at our front counter. And now, just for funzies once in a while, I or one of my coworkers (usually Julie) will pick up a batch of cookies, cannoli chips, muffins, or chocolates to sweeten up guests who visit on any random day we feel the whim to make sweeter.

We now have a dedicated treat tray (with a sealing lid for sanitary purposes) for this, as it's become such a regular practice. Just today, we had a guest in, who I hadn't met before, and after offering him a cookie, he said, "I was offered a cookie last time I was in here. Is that something you always do!?" He was so impressed.

Giving people treats does wonders to keep our guests in great moods; they literally leave with a good taste in their mouths. Guests remember the experience and it makes an impression that they tell their friends and family about, continuing the word-of-mouth grassroots marketing that we have built our business on.

I recently spent some time with my cousin's stepson, Devon. He has a powerwashing business and is doing so well at it that, even with a couple of employees, he's able to take most of the colder months off and sustain the whole operation with booming demand in warmer months. He's clearly doing something right. So, I asked him...

What is it that he does differently that keeps his clients coming back again and again, and recommending his services to their friends and neighbors? He simply said that he makes sure he and his coworkers all take extra time to ensure jobs are done right, and done more thoroughly than anyone else would do them. He always likes to do a little extra on each job too—something the client didn't ask for and didn't expect, so they feel they got more than they paid for and were special. And to that, Uncle Marty shouts a hearty, "Amen!"

Devon went on to tell me that when he was young, he used to go to the bank with his dad and they always gave him a Tootsie Roll. He remembered that experience so clearly that now, as a nearly-30-year-old with a successful small business of his own, he still banks at that same bank because they proved to him that they're in the business of relationships.

As I put together this issue and read through Ayden's article, "The Postmarked Story," I sure noticed that he mentions the Hershey Kisses he gives out to guests. Ayden gets it, and I guarantee those Kisses are a key part of his relationship-building strategy. Please glean all you can from his story. It's an important one!

We're all mourning the loss of AMBC Member, friend, and colleague, Bellenda, and you'll see a tribute to her on page 11 of this issue. One thing that always stood out to me about her was her bubbling-over-with-joy spirit. She lit up a room! And I can guarantee that every guest and client who walked through the doors of Pack 'N' Mail in Warrensburg felt the same. She knew exactly what it was to build relationships and keep people coming back again and again.

Are you in the business of relationships? I hope so. I sure am. Devon sure is. Ayden sure is. Bellenda sure was. My peers on the AMBC Board of Directors sure are. And AMBC Members who follow the relationship model constantly and consistently show how it does wonders for our growth as small businesses.

How do you get started on this path of relationship-based business? Read this issue of MBC Today cover to cover, because AMBC's mantra and focus is relationships, relationships, relationships. Also, please attend one or more of the upcoming AMBC regionals to see first-hand how the relationship masters do it.

And then, go buy some cookies and start giving them out. It works. I promise!

With care,
Marty