Watch Your Back

The following Ask Uncle Marty™ column piece is slated to be shared in MBC Today Volume 28 Issue 4 on July 7, 2026:

I had a dear friend who died in 2018, shortly after her 100th birthday. Her name was Mary and she and my grandmother and some of my great-aunts were friends as teenagers.

Mary was an amazing woman. She didn't get married young and start a family, as many women of her generation did. Instead, she began a career at IBM, which was started in my hometown, and got to know many of its original executives as a message courier between offices.

She eventually did marry, but she and her spouse Howard chose to travel the world as often as they could rather than follow the traditional homebodied family route. Mary had a pilot's license and she and Howard would often hitch rides on freighter ships to far-away places, staying and eating with the crew as guests, allowing the globetrotting couple to see parts of the world that other tourists wouldn't normally have access to.

I loved Mary very much. Because she never had children or grandchildren, she took my siblings and me under her wings and was a formidable and formative figure in our lives. And I learned a lot from her; she inspires me to this day with her willingness to break the mold, do her own thing, travel as much as possible, and not live by other people's standards.

Howard, who had turned into quite the curmudgeon, died quite a while before Mary did, as he was a good bit older than her. He left a note pinned to his shirt that said something like, "No funeral. No obituary. Let 'em guess." So, that's exactly what she did! I love her for that.

In fact, my sister and I loved Howard's phrase, "Let 'em guess," so much that we both now wear bracelets that have that phrase engraved on the underside—a quiet reminder to each of us that many things are simply no one else's business.

A quick cremation and burial of crotchety old Howard later, Mary swiftly sold the home they had built and loved for many, many decades and moved into a brand new, quite fancy retirement community. Eventually, she continued graduating to more assisted living in that all-in-one facility and ended up in the skilled nursing section before she finished her adventures.

Mary and I would often go on dates. She drove well into her 90s, but after she gave up her car I would sometimes pick her up and we'd go out to eat, go shopping, or just have a nice Sunday brunch in the beautiful restaurant at her complex. One thing she would tell me over and over again—each time she took a little too long (by her standards) to get up, walk somewhere, or do something that she used to be quite capable of doing—was "Don't get old!" She always said it with a smirk and a wink, but she also meant it.

I'm not old. But I am solidly middle-aged, and I do wear bifocals with a special anti-glare coating that allows me to drive at night more confidently (though I still avoid night driving as much as possible). My dermatologist kindly let me know that what I thought was eczema on the back of my hands are actually age spots, and my barber loves to point out that my beard is now just as much gray as it is brown—but I kinda love the grey beard and am very grateful to still have a full head of very thick still-heavier-on-the-pepper-than-on-the-salt hair.

Regardless, at a sprightly 47 I'm doing my best to put my health as a priority, exercise (almost) daily, maintain my goal weight that I finally reached at the end of 2025, moisturize every morning and night, get regular facials, massages, manicures, and pedicures, and take various and sundry prescribed cholesterol medications, blood pressure medications, arthritis medications, and diabetes medications, as well as vitamins, supplements, and a daily fiber regimen that has changed my life (I'll spare you those details).

One thing most of my Gen X peers and I experience now, much more than ever before, is back pain. Could mine be due to decades in the shipping industry, lifting heavy packages less than correctly? Certainly. Could it also be due to the aforementioned arthritis I now am blessed with in my lower back and knees? You bet! It's just part of life, though I'm trying to stay ahead of it.

This morning, I woke up all wonky. I'm an incredibly sound sleeper and didn't even notice the severe thunderstorms my area experience during the night. I woke up with four of my five pillows (not counting the six throw pillows I remove every night before bed) on the floor and my body lying totally perpendicular across my king-size bed. I was in a position that really got me scratching my head, and when I tried to get up I could barely stand because of a totally twisted back.

I trusted fully in the handrail as I slowly made my way down the stairs and stumbled to the kitchen to pour myself a cup of ambition. I keep my downstairs curtains mostly open at night, and I live in a townhome community with neighbors all around, so I'm sure if anyone was looking in they must have had a good laugh. Hobbling around for a few hours until I could walk normally again and make it back upstairs to my home office, I heard Mary's voice going over and over in my head saying, "Don't get old."

Compared to many of my peers, I can safely say that I look and feel much younger than most of my generation. I'm very grateful for that, and recognize that it's a combination of luck, genetics, and intention.

I'm embracing getting older. And I'm embracing the bonus years that I've been living in since getting my cancer-free news over 13 years ago, as well as embracing the ability I had to semi-retire young when I sold my business two and a half years ago. I'm determined not to waste the incredible gifts that I've been given while also accepting the fact that there are some things that I can't do as well as I once could, while at the same time also embracing the things that I'm getting better at as time goes on...and the wisdom that I hope I'm gaining as a result.

But the back pain worries me.

I know it'll be fine and I'm doing my best to stretch it out and work through it. It's infrequent, but powerful when it shows up. I'm sure many (most) of you can relate, as back issues tend to plague many people who have had long careers in labor-intensive fields.

In the spirit of sage learned-the-hard-way wisdom, I want to share with you a safety protocol I installed in my business well over a decade ago, albeit too late for those of us who had done damage already: lift with your legs, not with your back. And when you do have to lift something too heavy for you, don't be a hero. Ask for help. Team lift and use braces and tools available to you to assist.

I have too many friends whose backs are shot and it affects their lives in too many ways. I feel that I still have a lot to see and accomplish on this planet and, universe willing, I'll be gracing your magazines, blog rolls, and podcast feeds for years to come with lessons I've learned along my life's trajectory that may (or may not) be of value to you. But if there's one piece of wisdom that I can impart, in the spirit of dear Mary's "Don't get old" and grumpy Howard's "Let 'em guess," it's that you need to protect your health, your privacy, and your peace.

Please don't break your back, literally or metaphorically. Work hard, yes. Work very hard! Invest. Make decisions with an end goal in mind. But most importantly, work smart—in balance, taking necessary time to enjoy life and all of the blessings it has to offer. Someday, if you're lucky enough to reach your 100th birthday like Mary did, you can look back and be very grateful for decisions you've made to get to that end—even if they did go against a traditional mold.

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Marty Johnson is a Business & Leadership Coach at AYM High Consultants, a columnist, an editor, and Co-Host of the MoJo Motivation™ podcast. In 2023, he sold his popular shipping, storage, and printing business, Uncle Marty’s, and retired from shopkeeper life in order to focus on writing and coaching. Subscribe to his free newsletter and read more at askunclemarty.com; follow him on socials @askunclemarty.