Today is a big day! Election results are coming in from yesterday's midterms and socials are blowing up as a result.
Those who read my column regularly know that I'm very socially progressive, though fiscally centrist—frugal at heart, with a dislike of wasteful spending. Often, the former outweighs the latter, as I believe that respect, equality, opportunity, and access for those not as privileged and/or who have been traditionally marginalized are way more important things than a few more dollars in my pocket from tax savings. I'm privileged to be in a position where I can afford to pay more taxes, and I'm glad to if it helps my neighbors get sustenance, shelter, healthcare, and other help they may need.
Above that, I believe wholeheartedly in dialogue and giving space for others to believe, vote, worship, and protest as they see fit while I have the same privilege to do what's best for me in those regards. What really irks me though is outright prejudice, ignorance, and hateful spewing that we see so often in our day and age in the news and on social media.
Today, I spent a little while unfollowing a few individuals who were spewing such things. One friend of mine in a southern state was warning those in the south about "Californians and New Yorkers" who may be infiltrating the state to affect the vote. What an idiotic statement. I unfollowed her.
Another friend in New York posted a meme of Zohran Mamdani, the now-mayor-elect of New York City, showing him with devil's horns spewing fire with horrible, racist, and anti-Muslim rhetoric in the text. That was an immediate unfollow.
Many similar hate-filled posts popped up in my feed, all anti-Muslim, anti-immigrant, and anti-LGBTQ+. Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow.
What is with people? How has hate and ignorance become so pervasive? Actually, I know how. It's shown to us from the very top in our country at the present time and people have taken that as a sign that they can unleash all of their inner fears whole-hog without the fear of consequence, as they see it being done in Washington. It's so sad and so anti-American. After all, isn’t America supposed to be the land of the free and the home of the brave; a country built by immigrants and created on the principle that all humans are created equal?
One one of my close friend's private Facebook page today, in a post sharing her excitement about Zohran winning the mayoral race and the fact that her daughter knows him personally and can testify to his integrity and authenticity, as well as her nephew's work as one of Zohran's campaign volunteers, another Facebook friend of hers commented "I pray to God, Americans in NYC do not fall for the lies of this Muslim here. They do not like America, they want to take over and bring Sharia law to the USA." I'm quoting that friend-of-a-friend directly, as her grammar errors punctuate the spotlight shone on her through her incredible ignorant comment.
What did my friend do in response? Well, I'll tell you what I would have done—and what I've done in similar situations when one of my social media friends or followers dares to come to my timeline or page and spread hate. I would have blocked, unfollowed, unfriended, and deleted the comment. I find it wholly unacceptable.
But what did my friend do? She combated ignorance with education. She said, "Hi there! I can really feel your genuine concern in this comment. As I'm guessing you know, Brad Landers, the highest ranking Jewish politician in New York City, is one of his biggest supporters. I'm wondering if you've seen this interview [and she inserts a link to an interview here]? If you haven't I'd love to know what you think after watching. I'm sure you don't think all Muslims are dangerous people who want to impose their religion on others, just as all Christians don't. I'm guessing you think he specifically thinks this, so I wonder if that might be shifted after hearing directly from the source? Thank you for your comment."
Wow! I try to refrain from using the term "blown away" too much, as it's overused in our society to excess, but I was truly blown away by her response. She simply addressed the situation calmly, respectfully, and intelligently.
And intelligently is the key, as my friend is not just a regular friend—she's indeed a dear friend and a mentor to me, in addition to being a bestselling author and a top-10 podcaster in her space. She's a phenomenal public speaker and someone from whom I learn a whole lot about how to navigate this thing called life. She nailed it.
I'm not writing this post to spark a political debate. If you voted for or didn't vote for someone or other, it's not my business. That's your right. My world and circles are full of people on the left, the right, and down the center. That's our right as Americans.
Rather, I'm writing this to show how this one person's comments had nothing to do with policy, economics, or anything else, but simply were to do with fear, ignorance, and misinformation. This person likely has no friends who attend mosques and has never sat down with someone from a different faith to find out how much more we are alike than we are different.
Friends, as I've harped on over and over and will continue to do so while I have breath and fingers that can type, please, please, please learn to love your neighbor. That person who looks, loves, or lives differently than you is a human. You don't have to vote for them or follow them, but you should indeed love them and want them to have every opportunity that you have. Spewing ignorant, hateful rhetoric based on gender, skin color, faith, or identity is abominable and despicable.
I want to learn this important lesson my friend taught me today in her response. Rather than unfollowing and unfriending and blocking, maybe I can try educating. I'm not sure how well I'll do, as I'm a conflict-avoider and not nearly as bold, brave, or eloquent as my friend, but still I want to learn more how to be more open in this regard.
Together, we can make this world better simply by being kinder. We can compromise politically and find common ground to keep our democracy strong. After all, it's indeed a democracy. Term limits are real. Administrations come and go. None of it is permanent, but our actions and our reactions do go on our karmic records—so make them ones that will bring good juju back your way.
Onward!
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