Where I Stand...For Now

Hi, friends.

I’m going to get spiritual on you again. Those who read my posts regularly know that my writing is primarily focused on business advice—shared across my home industry and beyond both at askunclemarty.com and aymhigh.com, the coaching enterprise my colleagues and I collaborate on, as well as in some other industry publications.

But I don’t just write about business stuff. I often also write about life stuff. Topics can be all over the map. And today, after long pondering, I think I’m finally ready to write an update to some of my previously written thoughts on faith.

I posted an essay on New Year's Day about faith. In it, I touched on major issues in my faith community and tried to explore where I stood at the time and how I felt. I disclosed that I expected my views to evolve, as faith is a living thing and not a static thing. So, to my loved ones, friends, colleagues, and column readers, I feel I owe you this update…

Yes, I still participate in some of the faith gatherings I have always been a part of. Participation is not endorsement of some in leadership who continue to stubbornly stay in power when they should have resigned years ago when abuse scandals broke and they were discovered to have willingly and knowingly participated in coverups and putting people in harm’s way. I hope they’ll understand how many people they’ve hurt—not only by past actions, but by refusing to step down when so many have stepped forward in protest. In any company or agency, leaders often and rightly resign when scandals, gross missteps, or ill-advised decisions under their leadership occur. It’s standard. It’s an act of contrition and solidarity to those who have been hurt.

That being said, I don't know most of the information and certainly what I think I know is mostly second-hand. Just like with world events, politics, and all of the other contentious things going on in our world, the full story is often hard to understand and many sources may be biased. I have communicated with many trusted sources though who make me believe strongly that knowledge of serious wrongdoing and an unwillingness to address it properly did occur...and did occur as a pattern. But I won't let a few imperfect, unaware, bubbled, and/or misguided individuals making harmful decisions remove me from something where I still often find great love, fellowship, and encouragement; where the majority of the regular-old-sheep, pastors, deacons, and elders alike under the oversight of these decision makers don't agree with what they've done or how things have been handled and are simply trying to stay an encouragement and source of strength to each other.

My continued participation in some gatherings where I feel encouraged and uplifted is grounded my belief that any reform or change movement needs those who step forward and march and wave flags and shout and call people out, but it also needs those who try to change things from the inside—to “be the change” and more openly non-conform in order to point out how ridiculous and dangerous a culture of conformity is; to show that it’s spirit and not form that make up a life acceptable to God and a community of people who can help each other to that end.

I look at it like this: I’m an American, but I am incredibly disappointed and heartbroken by most things going on in America at the present time. But I’m still an American and I believe in the core ideals of our country: freedom and liberty. I’m not leaving my homeland because there are jerks in power who are doing terrible, exclusionary, and incredibly harmful things to so many people and families. I’m trying my best to be the change from the inside and will continue to vote and love and respect and build community, even when some of my own and so many other communities are being attacked.

Leadership is temporary. Decision makers change. New generations who understand what the current culture and morality is will eventually take over and make things better.

And I see so many great changes in my faith community. It’s awesome…and long, long overdue. My Sunday gathering of friends is totally chill and without the legalistic forms that many such gatherings previously had. People are just being themselves and not putting on airs nearly as much. When ministers visit, many of us don’t hide anything our homes anymore out of fear of offense or penalty, or change our clothes and take off jewelry to try to appear more humble or modest (because, after all, modesty is a spirit and not a costume; in fact, wearing a costume to appear more modest is, at its core, not modest). That costume show is over for many of us...and it’s a beautiful thing.

Our mid-week Bible studies are also often much more chill and less formal. We just read a chapter together in a group and then casually discuss it, with everyone invited and welcome to participate, regardless of whether or not you have made an expression of faith in the past or have committed to a certain thing or not. It's awesome! We all learn a lot and grow from each experience. And it’s a place that I’d be willing to invite friends to, whereas some other meetings of my faith community I may not be comfortable to invite guest to because of all-too-fundamentalist-appearing formality and costuming. There’s a place for reverence and this point I'm trying to make isn’t about that; it’s about appearance and approachability and simply living in the present time instead of decades- or centuries-past times when life and family structure was entirely different.

Most ministers and lay people I speak with are also excited about the “great chilling out,” as I like to call it. But some, of course, still have giant sticks up their behinds and can’t let go of the structure and legalism that they were either raised in or gravitated to because of their own religious tendencies. We are not and should not be a religion, though objectively that is what my community became. We’re breaking the religion down now and, God willing to continue the work that has begun, are becoming what we should be in my opinion: just simple people meeting together to encourage each other and not patrol or judge each other.

These good changes are incredibly encouraging, but there are still dangerous practices out there that need to be fixed…and I see it happening, although slowly. While only men are in the highest decision making positions in many states and countries, some states and countries are finally—finally—trusting women to lead. Some states have appointed female deacons and have also instructed their pastoral staff to never judge or comment on what someone wears or doesn’t wear, what they have or don’t have in their home, or who they’re in a relationship with. Finally!

To be fair, one thing I love, love, love about my community is that both women and men are ministers. That’s important, though there’s a very wrong doctrine of “God’s order” that a few of the older, much more conservative ministers still tout: that women are in subjection to men. It’s disgusting and a gross misinterpretation of scripture and a dangerous confusion of the extremely patriarchal and homophobic cultures during which scripture was composed with our current should-be free and equal society. I feel very strongly that God doesn’t care about your identity or gender with regard to your ability to lead or make decisions, especially now that people are much more aware of the gender and sexuality spectrums that indeed have existed across history. Let women lead! Our country needs it, our faith communities need it, our families need it, and our sanity and empathy desperately need it.

Another great change is that some decision makers now encourage their pastoral staff to take jobs when they’re not busy with visits or meetings—like substitute teaching or even volunteering at local shelters, food banks, and community centers. Yes! Of course! Isn’t that the point? Wasn’t Paul a tentmaker when he wasn’t on the road? It’s so important to get out of the bubbles of just hanging out with others in the community and make new friends and understand new perspectives that aren’t like what you’re normally around.

Also, some states and countries now have pastoral training workshops where professionals are brought in to inform on best practices, laws, codes of conduct, DEI, and many more important topics that those in a ministerial role not only should be informed better on, but in many areas are required to be certified on. Yes!

All this being said, my core beliefs can be summed up in an essay I just posted: The Narrow Way. Read it if you’d like. Writing it has helped me explore and solidify where I stand at the moment. And while my participation in my faith community may change down the road if my stubborn belief in inclusion and equality and basic respect and love isn’t welcomed anymore, or my stubborn refusal to conform to silly things causes others to become too uncomfortable, I will do my best to still live by the principals that I hold dear, as lived and taught by the prophet and savior that I claim: Jesus, the epitome of love, inclusion, and non-conformity to harmful out-of-control and way-out-of-context religious ideologies.

No matter how frustrating things are in whatever sphere we’re looking at, please join me in not letting it rob joy. Stubbornly pursue joy, as it is absolutely essential. Stubbornly laugh. Stubbornly smile. Stubbornly treat other people right. It’s the only way we’ll get through this age of division. Love wins. Love always wins.

And, for the love of all things holy, make some friends outside of your bubble. Seek out those who look, love, and live differently than you and listen to them, empathize with them, learn from them, share with them, and—most importantly—love them.

Onward!

 

...

As in all of my writings, essays, and column shares, what has been shared here is my own opinion. Yours may be different. And that’s okay. Faith is an individual thing and I’m not trying to convert anyone or force my opinions on anyone. I’m simply sharing for you to take or leave as you choose and will do my best to respect and reciprocate space for you to do as you choose, as long as you’re not controlling or harming others—the caveat that this and other writings of mine are trying to address. This essay is formed by my own current beliefs as they stand now, understanding also that belief and faith are ever-evolving things and that I want to remain open to wherever the future takes me.

 

…

Marty Johnson is the Communication and Vision Lead at AYM High Consultants, a columnist, and an editor, producing the mail and business center industry's leading magazine, MBC Today. In 2023, he sold his popular and growing brand, Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office (now rebranded simply to Uncle Marty’s) and retired from shopkeeper life to focus on writing and coaching. Subscribe to his Ask Uncle Marty™ newsletter and read more at askunclemarty.com; follow him on socials @askunclemarty. #AskUncleMarty