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Something I rarely did when I owned Uncle Marty's, that I
now wish I had done more of, is taking clients and potential clients out to
lunch.
Deep down, I'm an introvert. This may surprise many of you
who meet me at conferences, are my clients and chat with me regularly on Zoom
or in person, see me on socials, or encounter me hamming it up at the local
theaters where I now spend a lot of time in my semi-retirement era, but I get
drained when I have to converse with people for too long. Yes, I can
perform...and love, love, love the spotlight. Yes, I do genuinely care for
people and value a good heart-to-heart with someone I'm close to. But small talk
often just kills me and it's hard for me to focus when I'm not fully engaged.
Because, as a deep-down introvert, or "extroverted introvert," as my
cousin calls it, it's the small talk that depletes me. I don't get energized by
conversations, but rather I get energized, recharged, reset, and refocused by
alone time—in my own room, curtains drawn, dark, quiet, and breathing deeply
without distraction or interruption.
I'll share a little secret: when I travel to conferences, I
often stay at a different hotel than the one the conference books. I do this
for three reasons: 1) I'm a Hilton loyalist and love racking up my points in
order to maintain my coveted tier status with the brand, so if the conference
isn't at a Hilton property I'll usually find one nearby to stay at; 2) I dread
the elevator and hallway conversations that inevitably ensue before, during,
and after speaking engagements, class shares, seminars, and presentations; 3)
my privacy is important and nobody but nobody need to know my room number. So,
staying nearby allows me the personal space and decompression time that I know
I need to shake off the day and reduce the chances of having a
too-many-people-triggered migraine the next day (though that will still happen
80% of the time).
It's because of this boundary, which is a healthy one, that
I traditionally shied away from wining and dining people in order to gain
business. True, I did it some. In fact, I've been on more business lunches and
networking meals than I can possibly count! But, mainly, as a general rule, I'd
prefer to do other things. I joined a plethora of committees in my municipality
and at the local university, but a group setting is much less triggering to me
than a one-on-one sit-down dedicated conversation where I have to be fully
present and engaged. It's also why, after over a year now of being in my new
home, I can count on one hand the times I've invited guests over for a meal. It
simply drains me, even though there's much about it that I do enjoy.
But one thing I've learned since coaching alongside Seema
and Fahim for the past decade, and past two years officially as colleagues with
AYM High Consultants, is the value of feeding people. They feed people all the
time. Whenever I'm at our AYM High headquarters in Grand Island for workshops,
client training, or whatever, meals are often the main focus of our time
together. It's the same when we meet at a conference or are doing an onsite
visit for a client: going out to eat will always lead to much greater things.
Truly, more gets accomplished over lunches and dinners than it does at other
times.
One of my favorite new podcast discoveries is Wiser World
(wiserworld.com—check it out!), hosted by
the incredibly well-researched, wise, smart, and empathetic Alli Roper. Lately,
she's been doing a series on the show called "Common Ground," where
she digs into traditions and customs that are the same or similar across-the-board
for cultures around the world. It's fascinating! And sharing meals, feeding
guests, and breaking bread to build bonds is certainly one of the things that
we, as humans, share as an inherent quality of community and relationship
building.
Think about it: at the last industry conference you attended, did you find the most value in the classes or during the meals or after-hours bar gatherings when you sat with peers, vendors, and industry leaders together to have frank discussions and share ideas? Likely, you're torn on the answer, as both have incredible value. Eating together breaks down walls and allows us to, indeed, share common ground.
If I had to do it all over again, I'd take a lesson from my
colleagues and from one of my favorite shows, Emily in Paris, where most
of their major business deals are made over lunch out, and do a whole lot more
business meals—with clients, potential clients, colleagues, and neighbors.
Undoubtedly, breaking bread brings bonds bound for big business.
…
Marty Johnson is the Communication and Vision
Lead at AYM High Consultants, a columnist, and an editor, producing
the mail and business center industry's leading magazine, MBC Today. In 2023, he sold his popular and growing
brand, Uncle Marty’s Shipping Office (now rebranded simply to Uncle Marty’s) and retired from
shopkeeper life to focus on writing and coaching. Subscribe to his Ask Uncle Marty™ newsletter and read
more at askunclemarty.com;
follow him on socials @askunclemarty.
...
This article will be co-published on January 5, 2026 on aymhigh.com and will also be shared in the Ask Uncle Marty™ column in MBC Today Volume 28 Issue 1 on January 6, 2026.
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