Caregivers

Four years ago this season, I had just finished my first of four chemo cycles--confused, weak, scrawny, itchy, nauseous, and bald, yet surrounded by amazing, uplifting humans who cared for me. 

Every Christmas, I keep in touch with the staff of the inpatient chemo floor where I stayed for the majority of my treatment. Their card this year reminds me once again that I was not just a patient. I wasn't just some pin cushion that needed his IV changed every few hours. I was a fellow human--a friend whom they genuinely cared for and cared about.

Treatment is more than the drug regimen; treatment is the caregivers and administrators that hold your hand and lift you up.

I had the best caregivers. They gave from their hearts ... and they're still giving.

#Survivor #Christmas #Caregivers #Chemo #GivingfromtheHeart #AskUncleMarty

Don't Feed the Wolves

I've been doing yoga for the past few months. I started going late in the summer, figuring it would be a good outlet for tension and pent-up stress. And it has been!

Initially, I was just doing hot vinyasa yoga--sweating it out in a 105-degree room, trying to push myself to stay active for the whole 75 minutes without having a complete panic attack. But then I discovered yin yoga. Yin is a passive practice, holding positions for three minutes at a time to stretch connective tissue. It's amazing. And the class I try to go to is at night, done by candlelight, with an instructor who speaks softly and constantly reminds us how great we are for taking time for ourselves. It's the crunchiest, chillest, most wonderful experience. But I digress…

Last night, Linda the instructor kept repeating, "Don’t feed the wolves. Water the flowers instead." I've been thinking about that since, wondering what my wolves are and realizing just how much I encourage them.

We all have wolves in our lives. Some are external, threatening us and trying to tear us apart with aggressive attacks. These can be competitors, enemies, frenemies, injury, restriction, or even just negative people that bring us down and make us fret. And then some wolves are internal, eating us up from the inside out: worries, phobias, self-depreciating thoughts, disease, and addictions.

These wolves are bad news. In all logical thinking, we should avoid them and put up fences to keep them out because they're destructive and dangerous. Yet somehow we feed them! But how? And why?

Some ways we feed the wolves are easy to understand, like how we feed addiction … because we literally do feed addiction. "Just one more cookie; I'll eat a salad tomorrow." "Just one last puff; I'll quit when I'm not so stressed." "Just one last episode; I'll sleep better tomorrow night." Worries, phobias, and other obsessions are fed in much the same way. We focus on them--feeding them--which, instead of bringing resolution, just makes them stronger and allows them to take over more of our being.

Other ways we feed the wolves are harder to understand, like how we feed competition … because we don't think we actively feed competition. Isn't our intention to beat competition? Well, we do feed it--just like we feed other aggressors--by playing its game. We play price wars, insult, condescend, downplay, and degrade. We want to run negative ad campaigns, telling the world just how much they suck and we rule. But that behavior only makes us look petty, whiny, and on the defense. It makes us appear weaker, and consequently makes the competition stronger.

What if, instead of feeling all of these wolves, we put energy into building up those things inside of us and in our lives and businesses that are beautiful, strong, attractive, and distinguishing--watering our flowers. Let's stop throwing scraps to those wolves, and stop giving them the territory that they're creeping in on. Instead, let's plant new seeds, take back our property, and make it shine. Let's stop the damage, stop bringing ourselves and others down, and instead make healthy choices to build our world back up again.

A friend messaged a Simon Sinek quote to me today: "Fight against something and we focus on the thing we hate. Fight for something and we focus on the thing we love." 

We have nothing but opportunity. Here's to a beautiful year ahead!

#DontFeedtheWolves #WatertheFlowers #Resolutions #AskUncleMarty

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Also published on the AMBC blog on December 27, 2016.

A Case for Holiday Cards

I got my first Christmas card yesterday. It was from my Aunt Bonnie, and it was spectacularly special.

I send cards out every year, both personally and from my business. It's quite a project! Though I must admit that I'm indeed exceptionally organized and have card crafting down to a science. 

I keep a spreadsheet going all year long with different contacts, then just do a simple mail merge to create my labels and I'm golden. Well that and designing, proofing, printing, cutting, gluing, cutting some more, writing an itty bitty note, enveloping, labeling, sealing, and stamping … then repeating those steps a few hundred times in an assembly-line fashion.

What's the point of this, you may ask? It seems like a lot of work for something kind of silly. It seems like other projects--especially for a business--should take priority over something like this. I mean, who cares about a little card anyway? Right?

Wrong.

People care. And it makes a huge difference.

It truly is a lot of work. But much more than that, it's a lot of fun. It keeps my favorite people top-of-mind. It keeps me in touch with friendly clients past--those who have moved away but still advocate for my business from afar. It keeps me in touch with friendly clients present--those who have been in my store this year and have been a joy to work with. It keeps me in touch with friendly clients future--those who may not be doing much business with me yet, but with whom I'm connected and for whom I'm hopeful. It's a direct, personal, seasonally appropriate way to reach out, express gratitude, and share warm fuzzy feelings.

I don't send cards to every single customer that has waltzed through my door this year. Goodness! Can you imagine?! No, I just send cards to my regulars--the loyal friends of my shop. Some spend thousands of dollars each year, and some spend just a few. Some are in multiple times per week, and some only occasionally. But each one is someone who I consider part of my team--an important part of the essential network that allows my business to organically grow.

If you're having trouble thinking about who to send holiday cards to or where to draw the line, think about it like this: If your business was a person, who would it want to say hello to? Who would it want to wish a happy holiday season to? Who would it want to keep in touch with? Who brings it joy? Send cards to those people: the ones who will appreciate the gesture.

I'm in the middle of my card project now. I should have done this in November; I usually do this in November before the holiday rush starts. But one thing led to another, projects piled up, and getting my business's holiday cards done simply just got put off. So now, as the busy season gears up, I'm furiously finishing my festive messages and sending them off to my friendly clients--past, present, and future--all around the world.

Someone said recently, "To be respected, you must first show respect." While I echo my "Amen" to that, I'll also state a new version: "To be thought of by others, you must first think of others."

Merry Christmas!

#HolidayCards #KeepInTouch #SpreadJoy #AskUncleMarty

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Also published on the AMBC blog on December 6, 2016.

Election Day

Running a shipping store in a very diverse college town, I see a lot of absentee ballots being mailed, and a lot of first time voters--both young adults looking toward a future full of potential, excited to have their voice heard and recognized, and also a fair share of new citizens, grateful to be Americans and honored to perform their civic duty. It really is beautiful.

As deadlines approached, I saw more and more customers eager to overnight their ballots. Some have chosen to send them Priority Mail Express to their ultimate destination PO Box, but many of my student customers have gladly shipped them via FedEx Priority to their home addresses for a family member to hand deliver them on election day. The fact that no one has flinched to drop $30-60 to cast a last minute vote has starkly reminded me of what a profoundly great privilege we have, as Americans, to have a voice and a vote.

The future indeed is bright because America isn't made up of politics. America is made up of people--free, independent, and empowered people. And those people are voting. No matter what outcome today's votes determine, we'll all still be Americans at the end of the day; we'll all still be compatriots, neighbors, and friends.

Here's to the future!

#GodBlessAmerica #ElectionDay #AskUncleMarty

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Also published on the AMBC blog on November 8, 2016.

My Buddy Lewis

I want to take a minute to tell you about my buddy, Lewis Howes.

I discovered Lewis's The School of Greatness podcast about a year ago and I haven't missed an episode since. I've written about what he's shared before, and my good friend Fahim--fully aware of my dedication to Greatness--gifted me The School of Greatness book in hardcover when we were together a few months ago at the 2016 Retail Shippers Expo.

I listen to a lot of podcasts, and some hosts are more genuine than others. You can tell by the intonation, intention, and intensity in someone's voice whether they believe what they're saying, and whether they're hosting just as an acting gig or because they genuinely have something they want to share with the world. And Lewis is unquestionably genuine.

Lewis interviews two different people each week--business leaders, health and wellness gurus, celebrities, entrepreneurs, visionaries, and regular folks like us--and digs deep to uncover their intentions and reasons for being. At the end of the week, Lewis shares a Five Minute Friday thought to give everyone a little boost.

The caliber of guests that Lewis welcomes is amazing. Many of the Greatness visitors are not (yet) household names, but what they bring and share is fascinating. And then many are indeed household names, and the depth of character that Lewis is able to uncover in their interviews sometimes shocks even them! Then occasionally--rarely--a guest will come on and share an attitude that may be a little uncomfortable to listen to, and Lewis shows amazing talent, grace, heart, and discretion in how he reacts to and treats those individuals. I always learn something--usually more about myself than the guest he's talking with.

Why is Lewis on my mind today? Because, of his 222,000+ Instagram followers, he stumbled upon my feed this afternoon, liked a few of my posts, and even took a minute to give me a ":)" comment. I am absolutely honored! (And I may have screen capped those notifications, excitedly texted Fahim, jumped up and down a bit, and squealed … just a little.)

I've set a goal: be on The School of Greatness podcast. This isn't going to happen right away, but it's not a pie-in-the-sky either. I'm just getting started gathering my portfolio of things I've shared over the years on different blogs and publications, and am excited to post that content--both new and from the archives--now on Ask Uncle Marty™. I have a lot to share, a lot to say, and a lot to discover; I know I'll be able to bring value through my quest to find awesomeness.

Now go subscribe to The School of Greatness … and enjoy!

#LewisHowes #SchoolofGreatness #Podcast #AskUncleMarty

Dress for Success

We're all familiar with the term dress for success. But what does that phrase really mean? 

Does it mean we need to wear a perfectly tailored power suit every day? In many industries, likely that's not the answer … and it's certainly not practical.

Dressing is much more than what we wear. Dressing is the total package--how we appear, how we present ourselves, and how we carry ourselves.

To dress for success, you must adorn yourself with professionalism. And you must hire and retain a staff that behaves professionally. This includes having a respectful demeanor, using respectful language, and being able to communicate clearly. It doesn't mean having all the answers, but it does mean that you're able and willing to find the answer.

My friend Annie reminds me often that, "You're never fully dressed without a smile." And Albert Schweitzer said, "Success isn't the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success." This is a profoundly simple truth! So another essential element of dressing for success is putting on a positive attitude every day.

Then, of course, what we physically wear is indeed a big part of dressing for success. In the corporate world, a common saying is, "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." You need to carry yourself as if you're already successful … and part of that is not looking like a slouch. This is why we often harp on store uniforms. If you look at the top stores in our industry, they all have a uniformed, professional, and happy staff.

And what about how our business is dressed? How does it appear? Is it in uniform? Is it smiling? Yes, stores wear uniforms and give off happy vibes just as much as staff. Look at your four walls and see if they represent your brand in color, crispness, and cleanliness just as your staff's uniforms do. When someone walks through your door, are they greeted by a pleasant atmosphere--as if the store is smiling at them--or are they walking into a cloud of blah?

Everyone wants to be successful, yet the definition of that success varies between individuals. But everyone does want success in some form or another. In our industry, perhaps many of us interpret success as having a profitable business, caring for our family, and making a difference and positive impact in our community.

Dress yourself for success, and be an example to your staff. Then watch what happens.

#Aesthetics #DressforSuccess #AskUncleMarty

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Originally published on the AMBC blog on June 21, 2016.

Getting Too Comfortable

Aah, comfort.

Comfort can be delightful. The highlight of my day is going home, putting on my jammies, and snuggling up with a big fluffy blanket … especially now, as nights are becoming crisper and autumn moves in to upstate New York. When we're comfortable, we can rest, relax, and recharge. Our minds and bodies need this, and I am indubitably a superfan. But sometimes comfort can go too far, and we get too comfortable.

The border between being comfortable and being too comfortable is vague and blurry. Sometimes we cross the line and don't realize it until we're deep into the wrong zone. When we become too comfortable, we become lethargic. Our energy levels decrease, and we start ignoring anything that's not essential. We procrastinate. We make no improvements. Our homes and health go downhill because we just don't have the umph to get things done. We start becoming blind to what's right in front of us. We choose to hit snooze instead of getting up and getting active. Our diets get junky and our looks get sloppy; we stop caring.

The struggle between comfortable and too comfortable is just as real in business it is in our personal lives. When we're too comfortable in business, we ignore what needs to be updated and changed to meet a changing market. We miss opportunities, either because we're not paying attention or because they seem like too much work. We become shortsighted, focusing on necessary daily survival but not taking the time to actively meet challenges that are just over the horizon. We become reactive, not proactive. We let our power naps turn into comas; we fall asleep, and the world passes us by.

So what do we do to break the spiral and get back on a forward track of growth? It's the same in our personal lives as well as in our businesses: we become active again. We make resolutions to not hit snooze, but rather get up, get active, and get our blood flowing every day. We find a buddy to keep us on track, encourage us, and kick us in the pants from time to time. We get out and get a change of scenery, so when we come back we can see things with fresh eyes. And we ask those we trust for their own fresh eyes on our situation, to make suggestions and give us a necessary shot of reality.

We must make a concerted effort to break the cycle of lethargy … especially in our businesses. We must force ourselves to make the uncomfortable changes that are necessary to move us forward. We must grow, and not get lost in the flow.

We must wake up.

#Growth #WakeUp #AskUncleMarty

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Originally published on the AMBC blog on September 27, 2016.